I suppose
it´s been a long time coming. I mean, I´ve been keeping it together for so long
that it was bound to happen! I am a drama queen, born and “self-made”. I honestly
cannot control the impulse to scream and cry, and I am going to… whilst I pour
my petty emotions onto this blog that means so much to me and that I´ve unfortunately
forsaken as of late. (see? Drama drama drama).
Changing countries,
leaving everything and everyone I have ever known, working hard for a living– basically
being a responsible adult… I feel tired, terribly depressed and on the verge of
killing the next person that asks me if I am okay. I am FINE, this is what life
is supposed to be: problems we all have them, learning is a never ending job and
taking charge of your destiny is mandatory in this competitive world. I am
figuring things out, everyone expects me to do something great but what if I am
suppose to be a boring old cat lady? So much pressure….
It has been
a month and a half since the big move, and I honestly haven´t realized what it
meant up until now. I took my sweet time and suddenly a tsunami sunk in, and there
I go again swimming upstream – this is what I am going through right now! There
is so much stuff going on that I am amazed I haven´t broken down in tears (in public)
yet. I have been meditating on a variety
of subjects that have come to my attention lately, and that is probably why I feel
so confused and frustrated… I just need to focus and insist on keeping the
dream alive, all the other stuff is white noise (that is deafening). Oh well,
we shall see!!!!
