I am not there, I did not die....

“Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die.”

Mary Elizabeth Frye

It feels so nice to finally feel the warm sun on my face and to enjoy the blue bright sky all day long. It is amazing, automatically the weight on my shoulders got so much easier to carry. The sun is the best remedy after all, or maybe it´s the culmination of all the wonderful things that have been happening in my life – some of which came has a nice surprise. Ultimately it doesn´t matter what or who, just that I feel good! Damn I haven´t felt good for so so long, I can´t remember the last time I was at peace like this… A good 2 years or so…. Life is funny that way.

I was, for the billion time, thinking that I am an awful person for feeling good when I know there is a person that I love that has died, obviously I can´t be happy knowing it isn´t fair that I am here happy and he isn´t. Once in a while this poem comforts me, because this is how I feel about death and how I would like for people to feel when I am gone as well. Death is just a part of life and even though the “body” isn´t here anymore, the essence or soul, lives in us and it always will. The gift my dad gave me is in everything I do and in all I am, my life has a new meaning now I know how much family means to me, and they are all I need. I should appreciate life more - life is for the living, I know that but it still hurts so much! – I know he would like for me to have a wonderful happy and fulfilled life, because he knows I love him eternally.

I just wanted to leave this poem for you today... for you to think a little about it.. sometimes we need to. 

Empty Soul

You see right through me,
Until the core of my soul.
You already know I have nothing
but a deep dark hole.

Once I dreamt of pink castles,
White shiny horses flying in the air.
Now I see nothing but black
Now I dream about nothing but despair.

My eyes have brand new colours,
Ones of grey, lighter or darker in the light.
My eyes once had life in technicolour
Now they are blind by these horrors, oh so bright....

But you see I am empty
Empty of beautiful and happy things.
My heart is full of sadness
My eyes can only bear the tears.

Leave me in the darkness
For I no longer deserve your light
Leave me stripped from all I am
For no longer I deserve to survive....

Silent Boat

Slowly, tenderly,
The touch of a rose.
Closely, strongly.
Don´t move, don´t change your perfect pose

I breath you, I live through you.
My lonely shadowy boat.
You picked me, you chained me,
I am drowning and only you can keep me afloat

I pick up the laughter I throw away the tears,
My destiny waits me
But still I am lost, I live within my fears!
I have no map, I have no keys.

My port is my safety
I cut the chain and still it chaises me
The horror, the sorrow, the days of tomorrow
The memories that cannot be relived,
The burden that cannot be relieved.

The guilt of doing nothing
The stillness of the guilt
The pain of feeling sorrow
The pain of feeling split

A coragem de Pessoa

"Posso ter defeitos, viver ansioso e ficar irritado algumas vezes
mas não esqueço de que minha vida é a maior empresa do mundo,
e posso evitar que ela vá à falência.
Ser feliz é reconhecer que vale a pena viver apesar de todos os desafios,
incompreensões e períodos de crise.
Ser feliz é deixar de ser vítima dos problemas
e se tornar um autor da própria história.
É atravessar desertos fora de si,
mas ser capaz de encontrar um oásis no recôndito da sua alma.
É agradecer aos céus a cada manhã pelo milagre da vida.
Ser feliz é não ter medo dos próprios sentimentos.
É saber falar de si mesmo.
É ter coragem para ouvir um “não”.
É ter segurança para receber uma crítica, mesmo que injusta.
Pedras no caminho?
Guardo todas, um dia vou construir um castelo…”




(Desconheço o autor do poema mas é a mensagem que importa, e um dia vou conseguir chegar aqui, ser forte e independente, ser dona de mim mesma - sou incapaz de admitir que sei tudo, sou feliz por saber tão pouco)

Sugestão 1#

Recentemente fiz uma apresentação sobre o conto "O caso curioso de Benjamin Button" por F. Scott Fitzgerald. Uma história muito interessante e "curiosa", muito diferente da visão apresentada pelo filme, e por isso mesmo aconselho vivamente a lerem e a tirarem as vossas conclusões.

Versão Original:

http://xroads.virginia.edu/~hyper/fitzgerald/jazz/benjamin/benjamin1.htm

*Não encontrei uma versão em português infelizmente.

Aconselho que vejam o filme também, uma boa maneira de comparar as diferenças culturais e morais das duas épocas.

Aquilo que eu posso dizer é que é uma lição de vida, e tem tantos pormenores que analisados a lupa nos levam por caminhos que não poderíamos imaginar numa primeira leitura.

Não vou dar mais pormenores vou deixá-los a mercê da vossa imaginação.

(The image goes directly to the 

site of the creater of this edition)

 Concluo com este pequeno excerto do filme, que para mim diz muito...

E numa nota de rodapé deixo-vos este poema, que pode não parecer mas relaciona-se perfeitamente com esta história, espero que goste desta minha pequena revisão/resumo da minha interpretação deste conto. Conto com as vossas opiniões:

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost