I really missed….

I cannot believe I still cannot fall asleep as soon as my tired limbs land on the bed, and yet I suspect my restless mind might have something to do with it. My head is on full “working mode” and I need some relief, I guess I just kept it inside for so long that now I am bursting with thoughts, emotions and pure anxiety. How could I give up on a part of me? A part of me that used to mean everything, my identity, my only “gift”. What makes me me. I just need to let it out, here of course. I missed the freedom of not caring about who is reading this, if they think this is really good or if they are going to judge me. There is no way I am going to please everyone, even though I have made a mission of it, all my life. I am trying to find my voice again, my true self. Let us see how long it lasts, because we all know I am extremely insecure and scared of being ridiculous. I just missed this feeling of doing something that just feels right.